So what do you do if this feeling chooses to stick with you like a shadow. You hide in the dark, but a hidden spotlight is on. Your own heart. Its luminosity leaves a trail following you silently.
It’s good–The shadow. Nudges you to shout out loud, announce the arrival, and celebrate the kingdom conquered! But what if the announcement brings deprivation, too deep to fathom. If there were any scope to take a chance; it is just wishful thinking.
The painting with this post is oil on canvas I created 20 years ago.
“Take Care“. 7 years ago. We parted our ways with the promise of meeting again the next day. He said “Take care and call me once you reach.” I held on to those first two words. During the entire 30 mins of my journey home, they kept ringing in my ears. I imagined an emotion a slight concern. Promptly I called back. I expected a more enthusiastic reply and not, ” Oh you did reach? Good. Wish you could join us guys. Take Care.” Huh? Take care again? Did I think right? Or was I completely wrong ? Those words did not mean what I wanted them to mean, or even meant universally, figuratively. They were used casually as a filler or a conversation stopper. The essence was killed. The relation lost its meaning. It was just that. Casual, As the speaker.
“Am here, not going any where, at least not tonight.” Now mind you, these words were uttered in a separate scenario, with a completely different context. And if I were to imagine them giving them a new meaning, I hear a soft deep passionate voice. An assurance. A commitment. A promise. A feeling as if you are cocooned in a blanket and held on tightly. Its cold and raining outside, but you feel warm and dry deep down your soul. The silence in the space is filled with a sign of life. You are not alone. Never alone.
“…not going any where, at least not tonight.” How I long to hear these any day. With the same passion and intensity I have imagined them to be. With the promise of being there, in the present, at your disposal.
power of words. make a promise, keep your word, mean what you say.